Australia's Banana Driven Economy

Despite being paid exorbitant amounts of money to predict these things, economic analysts were surprised by the news that Australia's annual inflation rate had jumped to 4%. In an attempt to save face, they have now stated the obvious by saying that the Reserve Bank will increase official interest rates by 0.25% to 7.0% when they next meet.

All of this economic mumbo jumbo is nothing but bad news for the average Australian; home loans are going to get more expensive and further erode disposable incomes. Wannabe Prime Minister and chief bean-counter, Peter Costello, tried his best to down play the role played by bananas in this dramatic turn of events when he resorted to political doublespeak in his non-explanation, "The unemployment rate remains at 30-year lows, the economy is growing solidly, wage growth remains steady and productivity is strengthening. Looking forward, the medium-term influences on inflation point to more moderate outcomes with the temporary factors affecting inflation likely to abate."

Important questions are being left unanswered by our leaders. How have bananas shaken off their reputation as an uncool fruit that’s best left to turn black and mushy at the bottoms of schoolbags and fruit bowls? How have bananas transformed themselves into becoming one of the most sought after foodstuffs on Australian tables? The simplistic explanation, that the recent devastation of north Queensland by cyclone Larry caused a temporary shortage of bananas which in turn caused a temporary increase in the price of bananas, seems reasonable at first glance but perhaps there is something more sinister going on.

While cyclone Larry was an unpredictable but inevitable weather phenomenon, investigators suspect that it was used as a convenient cover for a large-scale assault on the fruit industry by the banana-mafia, a secretive organisation that operates outside the bounds of mainstream commerce. It seems that the 250% increase in the price of bananas and subsequent effect on inflation was no accident but was the result of years of meticulous planning by the banana-mafia who have now successfully repositioned bananas on the food pyramid.

Through the banana-mafia's manipulation of fruit markets and the media, bananas have become the epitome of cool but sadly they are beyond the diminishing means of middle Australia. The great Australian dream of home ownership has now been replaced by a new dream, a dream of eating a banana.

Comments (5)

... written by kaz on July 27, 2006 Spot on! Dare I say it that bananas are now forbidden fruit. I've started dreaming about them! And I'm full of regret about all those I left to go squishy and brown. And of course how better to explain it than with a conspiracy theory. Larry has delusions of grandeur! I knew there was a reason written by Tom on July 28, 2006 It makes sense.. how can they blame bananas for our interest rate rises? It's obvious that there are dark forces at work, perhaps the banks had a hand in all of this? The truth finally comes out written by Bob on July 31, 2006 Wow... Bananas. I knew there was something just not right about them. For one, they're bent, and let's not forget they're yellow. They are definately responsible for the recent inflation rate. What else could it be! ... written by Condaleeza on August 7, 2006 They're a sly and slippery bunch, those mafiusi di la Queensland. me unhappy written by jet on December 22, 2006 I just started to like bananas and they got pricy me un happy

Write comment

Name:

Email:  Your email is not displayed or shared

Title:

Comment:

Write the displayed characters Add Comment

Tag it: